My First Inaugural

I'm thinking about a career change; I'd like to be a speechwriter for Obama. My first attempt (courtesy of the Obama Inauguration Speech Generator):

My fellow Americans, today is a brave day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "apple", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually running.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces tremulous and jerky challenges like never before. Our economy is voluptuous. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for harlots. Our healthcare system is vibrant. If your knee is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a hedge fund manager. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a telephone parachute. But praying together we can right this ship, and set a course for Omaha.

Finally, I must thank my yellow family, my tart campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank National Rifle Association for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of parking the American people. Without your furry efforts, none of this would have been possible.