When in Charleston . . .

Do not actually do the Charleston. I was tempted to on several occasions, but realized it’d just be gay.

Actually, Charleston is an awesome old town, and best seen in the company of some of your closest friends from college. Last weekend, Adam and I flew down to visit Alyson and check out her new digs. We were saddened only by the fact that Kelda, the fourth corner of our troublesome foursome, had told us she would not be coming.

Adam and I had a hellish airport experience thanks to the fine bastard people at Delta, where our first flight was delayed, our second flight was canceled (but the cancellation was not announced) and the third flight finally limped into South Carolina (by way of unmotivated Atlanta) 6 hours late. Grrrrr.

But Alyson came swinging around to collect us in her elderly Mercedes, and then, who comes rising up like a phoenix from the passenger seat but Kelda, having hatched a diabolical plan to surprise us!

So began our semi-regular reunion.

When not selling real estate, Alyson flies C-17s for a living. These are, by any standard, some big-ass mofo planes. Like ‘holy crap that bitch is not getting off the ground’ big ass. Really. Look –

See my weeny friends? See the plane? That’s a big ass mofo!




I got to pretend to be a love pilot.

There’s something truly empowering sitting behind the controls of a $300,000,000 aircraft and then looking out the window and seeing a whole bunch more of them. Like, “America, fuck yeah!”


Alyson is totally blasé about the whole flight line experience, but Adam, Kelda and I were goggling around wide-eyed, while Alyson barked at us to stay with her. We were, after all, in a place where deadly-force is A-OK.

In Charleston, the food is awesome, and cheap! I had some of the best carrot cake ever at a sweet little French cafeteria-like joint that also had sick Croques Monsieurs.


Mmmmm…cake.

We had a fancy dining night, where I was the designated driver (yeah, I know, I couldn’t believe it either). I totally ran out of steam early, but the gang wanted to keep going, so I trailed along. The last stop of the night was the Pantheon, an ‘alternative establishment.’ ‘Alternative establishment’ = gay club = hilarious. In New York, all you need is a rainbow flag and people pretty much know what’s going on in there. In Charleston, apparently, you need a sign on the door explaining this club is not like all other clubs. Kelda worked her wiles to try to get us in, but despite her radiant hotness, the doorman wouldn’t let us in for free, so that was the end of that.

We spent a lot of time strolling along Charleston’s main drag, King Street, and were spiritually cleansed when Adam and I joined Kelda for a Unitarian church service on Sunday morning.

My favorite day was when we went to the beach. We had a kite that attacked Kevin, Alyson's fiance, but would not fly,

and there was lots of jumping involved.



Love my lovely friends, love Charleston, and look forward to our next grand adventure together. Madison ’08, bitches?